


A Horrible Twist of Fate

by your_average_gay_weeb



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Diavolo and Vinegar Doppio Don't Share a Body, I don’t know what else to say except please read this, MAJOR JOJO SPOILERS, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_average_gay_weeb/pseuds/your_average_gay_weeb
Summary: Dr. Horrible was supposed to be in a meeting with Bad Horse, but finds himself joining a group therapy session with some bizarrely dressed villains.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	A Horrible Twist of Fate

**Author's Note:**

> This is slightly inspired by A Scrub For Hire on YouTube, who makes very good Jojo skits and other fun things!

Dr. Horrible had never screwed up like this.

Even as his real identity, Billy, he’d _never_ done anything that would lead to him missing a meeting with Bad Horse.

But here he was, somehow in an entirely different universe even though he _knew_ that the door he had opened was the door to Bad Horse's office.

He was unable to speak as he stared into the brightly lit room. The room was large and spacious, which was a detail that caught his eyes. There was a desk peeking out from the left side, the majority of it being hidden by the doorway while the only other object in the room was a roll-in white board, which was off in the opposite corner of the desk. The walls were a cream color, which made the seven weirdly dressed people in the center of the room stand out like a celebrity in a field of mimes.

“I-I’m sorry to bother you. I thought this was a different office.” Dr. Horrible went to turn around and close the door, noticing how the hallway was no longer that of Bad Horse’s property as a voice spoke up from in the room.

“No, no! This is the right room, assuming you are Dr. Horrible, also known as Billy.”

“How did-”

“You’re our newest member, you see.” One of the people stood up. He looked to be a man in his 20s, and wore a strange white suit with a chest window, along with black dots and zippers decorating the clothing. “I’m Dr. Bruno Bucciarati, and this is your new therapy group. I know you may be nervous, so I hope it helps you to know that everyone else here is a villain, just like you.”

Bucciarati was very calm and welcoming as he spoke, almost annoyingly so. His kindness reminded Dr. Horrible of Captain Hammer -curse him and his Penny stealing ways- and it made him want to punch the man.

“Please, come in.”

He shook himself out of his thoughts and followed Dr. Bucciarati’s order, slowly making his way to the empty seat in front of him.

“Now, I’d like everyone to go around the room and share their name, stand, Joestar, and how they died. Can we start with you, Kars?”

The mostly naked man next to Bucciarati nodded with a curt hum before speaking.

“I am the Pillar Man named Kars. I do not have the ability called a ‘Stand’, but thanks to the Stone mask I crafted millennia ago and the Stone of Aja, I am immortal and have many abilities that help me as I need. I was the villain for Joseph Joestar, who killed me by sending me into space, where I was left to freeze.”

Kars looked to the man next to him, letting him know that it was his turn.

“I am the man who helped bring Stands into the Jostar bloodline, Dio. My Stand is The World, which allows me to stop time. I can only stop time for nine seconds, since Jotaro Kujo… killed me before I was able to stop time for long.”

It was clear that Dio seemed annoyed that he had to introduce himself. He passed off the imaginary mic to the professional looking man to his right and continued to twirl a blond strand around a sharp, black nail.

“My name is Yoshikage Kira. I’m 33 years old. My home is in the upscale neighborhood-”

“Yoshikage.” Bucciarati warned. Kira rolled his eyes, and moved on from what seemed to be a memorized script about himself.

“My stand is Killer Queen, which allows me to create bombs alongside two other abilities that relate to bombs. I was put against Josuke Higashikata, but died after getting hit by an ambulance.”

Kars stifled a snicker alongside Dio, catching everyone’s attention.

“What's so funny, you two?” Dr. Bucciarati looked at the two in slight annoyance.

“How can you call yourself a villain when you didn’t even get killed by your part’s protagonist? You didn’t even die in a villain-like fashion! Unlike you, I, Dio, died after Jotaro was able to stop time and then used the sun to completely rid my body! Kars was sent into _space_ for heaven's sake! How are you allowed in the same room as beings such as us?”

“Oh come on, Dio! Boss was sent into a goddamn _death loop_. If that’s not the perfect way to end your antagonist, I don’t know what is!” The tiny pink haired man next to Yoshikage stood up as if planning to fight the two “godly beings”.

“My dear Doppio, it’s alright. Let them believe what they want.” The other pink haired man reached and arm out for the smaller one, calling the small man. He sat down, and the buffer pinkette spoke up.

“I apologize for my little Doppio’s behavior. He’s very loyal to me, and would do anything for me.” As he spoke to the group, he gave Doppio a few pets on the head. “My name is Diavolo. I am- sorry; I _was_ the leader of Italy’s biggest mafia, until Dio’s heroic brat of a son infiltrated my beautiful crime house and sent me into a never ending cycle of death with his overpowered Stand. My Stand is King Crimson, which allows me to erase up to ten seconds into the future. Anything that happens in that time is unknown to everyone, and I am unaffected by anything that happened.”

“And Doppio?”

“Do I really have to, Bruno?”

“It’s Dr. Bucciarati. And yes, you do.”

The small pink boy sighed, then quickly summarized his existence.

“I’m Doppio Vinegar, I don’t technically have my own Stand and use King Crimson’s ability Epitaph to see what will happen in the future for no longer than ten seconds, Giorno Giovanna was also my Joestar, and I died after someone’s stand went berserk and made me switch bodies with Dr. Bucciarati. Your turn, Pucci.”

“Thank you, Doppio.” The man to Dr. Horrible’s right thanked the boy, putting his hands together as if to say a prayer as he bended forward slightly. “My name is Enrico Pucci. I have three Stands-”

“I’m so proud of you, Pucci.” Dio spoke up, a supposedly genuine smile gracing his green lips.

“Thank you, Lord Dio. As I was saying, I have three Stands: Whitesnake allowed me to create an acid that slowly eats anything away and manipulate people using Stand Disks that I created, C-Moon made me the center of a reverse gravitational pull and alter the gravitational force of an object, and Made in Heaven let me accelerate time, which led to reset the universe. Unfortunately, I died shorty before the reset was successful because of Jolyne’s dumb baseball boy leading me to shove my brother’s Stand Disk into him, where he then gained the strength to end me.”

The room was silent as Dr. Horrible now took the time to process everything these men had said. How are they all fighting against the same bloodline? What the hell are Stands? Why was he here, of all places? How did he get here? Why were they dressed so weird?

“Dr. Horrible, if you could introduce yourself.”

“Oh. Right. S-Sorry.” He stammered, fixing his posture. “I’m Dr. Horrible, uh… I don’t know what a ‘Stand’ is, I am unaware of any ‘Joestars’, ‘Higashikatas’, or ‘Giovannas’, and I haven’t died.”

The group then began complaining and yelling in anger about how he never died. Dr. Horrible didn't know what to do or say, not that he _could_ if he wanted to; he was pretty much frozen in fear as all the other villains stood up, their superiority and power becoming much clearer with their tall, buff bodies.

“Everyone calm down! There’s more about him!” Bucciarati tried to bring the men back to their senses, but his words fell to deaf ears.

The men grew more upset as time passed and they continued to ignore Bucciarati’s orders. Having had enough, He yelled out, this time catching everyone’s attention.

“STICKY FINGERS!”

The angry men shut their mouths and sat back down. Bucciarati followed their example, sitting down after dusting himself off. He looked at the group, now with a smile as he pulled a manila folder out of a zippered portal he made appear from the floor.

“Dr. Horrible, civilian name is Billy. Even though you aren’t from this universe, you _do_ seem to have a Stand. It’s name is Brand New Day, and it allows you to freeze a person. According to your file, the reasoning for this is because of the weapon you made in your universe.”

“You have to _make_ weapons? Pathetic.” Dio crosses his legs with a chuckle, as if taking pity for him.

“Well, how else was I supposed to get Captain Hammer out of the way? You can’t get love without removing a variable.”

“Love, you say?” Yoshikage looked towards Dr. Horrible in interest. “Say, what are her hands like?”

“Yoshikage, no.” Bucciarati gave a warning glare at the David Bowie-esque man.

“Love is a stupid motivation.” Diavolo rolled his eyes, moving an arm over Doppio’s shoulder in a protective manner. “Choosing to become a villain for any personal reason is stupid.”

“You only day this because you’ve never been in love.” Enrico scoffed before eyeing Dio with a smile.

“Gentleman, could you please stop interrupting Dr. Horrible? He’s trying to-”

“Dr. Bucciarati? It’s almost time for your appointment with Joseph about his irrational fear of toasters possibly stemming from fighting Straizo.”

“Thank you, Trish.” Bruno turned to the door, speaking as kindly as ever. “Well then, I’ll see you all next week. This includes you, Dr. Horrible.”

He looked at the white-suited man, blinking in confusion. As he did so, he soon realized that he was no longer in the therapy room.

“Uhh… Dr. Horrible? The meeting’s over.”


End file.
